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A night of sleep. @ 11:01 a.m. on 2002-06-29
Ya im done with this CRAP. Of cource sleeping just was a big thought by tawnya on what is going on. Ive come to the conclusion that NO GUY IN THIS world is worth this shit. I mean see what i mean about getting "emotionaly attached". I mean i really hate switching moods everyother day, to being COMPLETLY happy, to wishing i never met him. For some stupid reason i thought i could change how he thinks, but i cant, and i feel like NOW if he does reliese "hey, what the fuck am i doing", than ITS TOO late. Honestly im telling him that im done with trying to figure him out, im DONE with asking him questions, im DONE with whatever the fuck is going on. I mean i know im gonna be a HUGE sucker, i have this STUPID feeling i am. I mean i dont have anything against him, its just that he has no idea what he is thinking, and me trying to help him figure it out, is making ME not know what the hell im thinking. I guess we are at two different levels. I just think i honestly fell for the first hot guy i saw, who was remotely my type, and who had some interest in me. I think i just like having someone to like. Than emotions got SUCKED in, and i got taken on the this rollar coaster. I honestly dont think matt knows how to handel all this shit. I mean he is a year younger, and guys his age, just wanna have fun, macking on every hot girl they see. Me on the other hand, wants something a little more serious. Its not the people who are involve in this...its the situation and the INTENTION of the people that makes it the FUCKED up way it is. Life isnt fair sometimes, but i mean there are going to be better and bigger things that come my way, which will make this seem like a silly crush.
 Tawnya
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