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Noone, but me. @ 11:33 a.m. on 2002-07-13
reading my sisters entry and robins note really made me upset. Not because of what happened, but because i feel like people think im MAD at people. Im not in any way shape or form. Im not gonna stop ANYONE from doing what the want, because thats just not right. The thing that upset me, is MY feelings. I wish i didnt get like this. I wish i understood WHY i felt this way. It makes me upset that....i dont know. I dont want people to think im some raging jealous bitch. Im not, im upset at MYSELF thats all. I dont understand anything anymore. One minute i think one thing, and the next i think another. Ive been thru sooo much crap in the last 2 years, that i see one thing and it brings some kind of hope for something. Than i reliese that it will just add on to the list of crap. People tell me all the time, "tawnya, youve been through so much with guys, that only time will tell when you find that RIGHT guy, who will treat you the way you want to be treated"...well when people plant that in your mind, you TRY to find that guy. Im just SICK of fucking games right now.... I dont blame ANYONE or think LESS of anyone. I really dont...Im just trying to understand MYSELF, and at the point where i just want to move on with my life, and start new.
added-the word that sticks out in robins note is "respect"..because i honestly havent felt that from any guy ever. The only one i can say was close to that was Matt H..but tawnya messed that one up royaly........................
 Tawnya
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