not goodbye @ 12:35 a.m. on 2002-09-02
so i guess this is goodbye.....i cant say goodbye...i wanna write about the last few days...i know i have to end this diary. By ending this diary i feel like im ending a part of my life. I thought i could be strong, i thought i could hold back the tears, but im sitting here crying.
I was reading robins entry and it was fucking weird as hell. Weird to think she is so far away....that i miss her so much......and im scaried...cause i havent even left yet, and im already homesick.
i drove home tonight, crying......thinking this is it...pickering is no more......i cant even count how many times in the last year ive said i wanted to leave pickering. and NOW thats its finally happening, i wish i could take it back.
i honest to god hate this. Can someone please tell me why im shaking and cant stop crying. I think it hurts more talking to Matt and Navin right now. Navin telling me not to cry....but i cant help it....I look over and all i see is my life in boxes...
I dont think anyone can ever understand this closeness i felt with these people...Matt is fucking making me cry more. He wants to come see me right now...but i dont want him to see me cry, cause i will........
fuck....this is not my goodbye entry................pink-sparkle will be alive til i feel the time is right.