i am who i am.
Tawnya.Pickering,Ontario.DONE high school:).19-yes legal drinking
age.Crazy.Shy at times. Confused. Thinking. Funny.Hyper. Laughing.Evil.Nice.Bitchy.Complaining.Excited.
Weird.Parinod.Truthful.Pierced.Blonde.Looking for Love.Trying to figure out life.

what did you miss?
- - 2006-09-19
haha - 2004-02-25
"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road......" - 2002-10-14
so long sweet summer. - 2002-09-04
not goodbye - 2002-09-02

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"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road......" @ 8:00 p.m. on 2002-10-14

So im sitting here, in my house, back for a visit from my new home in St. Catharines. I waited and waited for the right now to write this ending entry, and i think now is the right time. Maybe because this visit has made me reliese that even thought i hate to say it, things have changed, and it took a few weeks for me to reliese that. Maybe because this feels like a goodbye, because i wouldnt be home for another month. The visits will get less frequent, and my life at University will seem less and less like a week at camp.

I cant believe 5 years of high school is over. I cant believe how many things ive learned and experienced over that short amount of time. I think alot of high school was figuring myself out, trying to be happy with myself, and comfortable with WHO I AM, and not with what other people think of me. I made new friends, i lost some friends, i had boyfriends, my first kiss, many drunken nights which ended up with me throwing up or passing out, or just plain making out with random boy. I think what i learned the most through the years, was to NOT be afraid of who YOU ARE. I had NUMBEROUS amount of people tell me i was weird, childish, insane..and i acually had people HATE me because of those reasons, but honestly i didnt let that get to me, and i think if anything i got MORE WEIRDER, because honestly thats the way i am, and i cant change that.

I had fun, and wouldnt want to change anything. It takes alot to say that, but i honesly mean that. Its such a change from high school to university, and i hope to god that i have just as much fun, and have many more experences in the next 4 years, like i did in the PAST 5 years.

If i could say anything to people reading this whole are still in high school, i just wanna say HAVE FUN, enjoy life, and try not to concentrate SOOO much on the little things. I think that is the ONLY thing i regret, was worrying and spending too much time on stupid little things, that honestly really dont matter in life. I made them get to me SOO much, i was unhappy, and i think ive grown a little with just not worrying about stupid things, and GETTING over it, cause LIFE DOES GO ON! There are soooo many things to look forward to, and even though the past is GREAT to look back on, you really cant dwell too much on it, cause what is DONE is DONE!

The past summer was one of the best summers i think i ever had. I meet the most amasing people, and was honestly the happiest i have ever been. I learnt alot to be happy and confident with myself, and had fun. I was around people i could be myself with, and not care that they were judging me. That summer will never be forgotten, and it feels so bad to say that right now, things are different. I love all these people sooo much with all my heart, but its soo hard to go from seeeing these people EVERYDAY, to not even once a month. I guess the true test will be thanksgiving when we are ALL back.

So i guess this is goodbye to pink-sparkles as we know it. I wanna thank everyone who read this, and put up with my weird moods sometimes! This diary will always be up, and be a reflection of my past. Its on to the next stage of life, and i only thought it was right to get a new diary. If you dont already know its at http://tawnee.diaryland.com. Things might change in the future, i might change in the future, but only time can tell. I think it is only right to end this diary with this song, a song that i think can begin to explain so much of how i and others feel.

"Another turning point

a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist

directs you where to go

So make the best of this test

and don't ask why

It's not a question

but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredicatable

but in the end it's right

I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs

and still frames in your mind

Hang it on a shelf

in good health and good time

Tattoos of memories

and dead skin on trial

For what it's worth

it was worth all the while

It's something unpredicatable

but in the end it's right

I hope you had the time of your life"