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leave me the fuck alone @ 9:51 p.m. on 2001-04-23
i want to start again. im scared. i hate all this. i would go back and change things. but i cant, i cant. my stomach hurts just thinkin. i wish i could just get out of this fucking town and start over. start fresh, and not fuck up so much. is still think and still care. but i dont want to care, i dont want to think. i just want to lye in my bed and never wake up. leave me the fuck alone. u dont know me.
update 2 minutes later-
i know ill wake up up tommrow and feel like a different person. i know this will happen, it ALWAYS does. everyone can go fuck themselves. im not here to please anyone eles but me. and in a way im not pleasing myself. im going to throw up i feel so sick and i feel like im drowning again and noone can save me. one little thing gets me all excited and the next it is gone.
update again 2 minutes later- why do people come up to me and say "tawnya you dont know what it is like to have big promlems like me. you just dont understand so stop your complaining" u know what i think this pisses me off just as much as liers. DO YOU FUCKING GO TO SLEEP EVERYNITE AND KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IM THINKIN. no. DO YOU FUCKING LIVE MY LIFE AND COME HOME TO MY HOUSE EVERYDAY. no. NOone is perfect. and im NOT IN anyway saying i have HUGE problems, cause honestly i know i havent. but still, to tell me i have it easy and that I DONT UNDERSTAND. FUCK U, THATS RIGHT FUCK U. i would trade my mind for anything. i worry to fucking much. and thats just the jist of the things. dont assume unless u are informed.
 Tawnya
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