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me @ 12:53 a.m. on 2001-04-02
fuck its late and i promise tommorow *wait today* after school i will tell u allll about my weekend;) i had a lot of fun, just my brain hasnt...oh well. i was just thinkin. I MISS HIM and he doesnt even know it. im the stupid person EVER..like EVER. i had the most prefect thing and i didnt see it. and i was a BITCH like i was a toally bitch. WHY do u see so many things once the person/object is gone. Oh well. i dunno if i miss him or if i miss what went along with him. But it seems to me that he was perfect. i could trust him and i treated him LIKE SHIT. and he put up with it. WHYYY did he put up with me.....FUCK. i sux. can someone tell me where the door to smartville is.CAUSE tawnya is stupid:) yes. i feel so weak. i feel like now my emotions and feels arent that strong.i want, but this isnt the way i want to HAVE IT. i cant SETTLE for anything right now, cause that just NOT ME. i know what i feel as if people r "using" me. i hate it. people are people and they sux sometimes. i want to be able to find a guy i can trust at least 99 percent. i could NEVER trust NEONE 100 percent. i just cant, the experiences ive been through has made me lose more and more trust in the big picture. IM SCARED. i am. but i shouldnt be wasting my time on these things, cause there are so many people in this world and i KNOW there is someone for me and FOR everyone. i guess it is the EXPERIENCES that makes you stronger and helps to reliese WHAT u want and what u dont:) welcome to tawnyaville
 Tawnya
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