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more whining about guys @ 12:30 a.m. on 2002-02-24
AHHHH im going insane.... in the last 3 days there has been to much talk of my past relationships, and of why i dont get involved with people...and i really started thinking...why can't io get into relationships..i was trying to tell armstrong on friday, but i mean i thought about what i said after and i think im just making excuses?! i think i am honest to god scared of something. i am. i am scared of the fact that someone can like me as much as i can like someone eles. i cant understand WHY, and i feel as if EVERYONE is out to screw me over. armstrong put it that im am parinode...and i dunno wanna say that i am. but i think i am. or maybe i have just built up a big guard. i was thinking tonite *after hockey* that i want a boyfriend. seeing lindsay and how jumpy she gets when you metion tim's name, makes me want to have that feeling again. i want to have the feeling where you just metion or think of the person and you have this STUPID grin on your face that doesnt go away. bah. i said in a previous entry that im "changing" my ways of just fooling around with guys and having nothing come of it. and i want to change that, and HAVE a relationship before i do anything....but i mean i cant go out LOOKING for a guy...i honestly dont think there are many more good guys in pickering. and i dont wanna search..because that is just stupid. haha i was talking with lindsay and doug tonite at hockey..and doug was talking about how my b/f in university is gonna be "suit man" who will always wear a suit *what the...* me and lindsay were making little jokes about that.....and how the guy in the car was my dream man, bringing my baby blue roses, and loving my BRIGHT SUNNY BANANA hair....but that will never happen. i wanna met a guy and be like "wow....wow...wow..." and nobody had done that for me in a while. i mean with the past few guys it has only been looks........ ok enough of tawnya whining about guys and her lack there of.
 Tawnya
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