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live right now! @ 11:06 p.m. on 2002-05-24
her is the first entry for the day! Im so bored..not bored, just i HATE waiting...with a PASSION...i hate people who drive to slow, because that means i have to WAIT longer to get where i want to go. I hate standing at intersections WAITING to cross the street *haha niagra falls*. I hate WAITING for a guy to say he will call at a certain time. GAAAA..im soo impatient it isnt even funny. I went out with my mom earlyer in the evening. Got some micky d's, came home and watched Cototey Ugly ad Dazed and Confused. Now im waiting til 1am rolls around so i can go out! Its 11:11, MAKE A WISH! ********<-- tawnyas wish! I was looking at people who listed me as favorites, and i started thinking HOW WEIRD IT IS THAT PEOPLE read this. That people acually know about my life. Not my whole life, cause alot i dont share, but what i do on a daily bases..and how much i loser i am to be home on a friday night *well technically im going out in 2 hours,,,but STILL*..It is just weird that i could say ANYTHING, and people would acually read it..or pretend to anyways. I sometimes feel as the whole purpose of a diary is defeited because people read this. I mean i HAVE to censor myself on this, because for all i know people *that im not aware of* read this. Its also weird cause i read other peoples diary on a daily bases, and i FEEL as if i know some of these people whom i dont even know..i feel as if im INVADING on their lives, and know stuff that they dont want people to know. HOWEVER you must know, THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE...the internet scares me...you just dont know! Ive had tons of people LIE to me in real life, and to my face...I cant even IMAGINE how many times people have lied to me on this thing. You can be WHOEVER you want to be on the internet...you can be 10 times skinner, have different hair colours every day. HEY even make yourself 10 years older! It really is scary...... On a different note-You only live once. Everything we do, just ends in death. We all die in the end *going to a better place*...but im only 18 for 356 days of the tens of thousands of days im on this earth. I dont want to look back and REGRET something i DIDNT do. Im gonna stop thinking about the "what ifs" and "ill look like such a loser". Im just gonna ask him if he wants to do something some day. HEY really what do i have to lose? So what, maybe he will come up with the excuse "oh, um, Im busy"..or maybe he will say "I thought you would never ask!" HAHAH as if the second thing would happen. But i will never know UNLESS I TRY. I regreted not doing a similar thing a few years ago, and lost one of the best things that could have happened to me..... :) well writing this entry made it THAT much closer to being 1am...good night everyone!
 Tawnya
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