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I wish i could describe the feeling @ 3:57 p.m. on 2002-08-31
hey hey...i have a feeling this will be the second last entry i will ever write in this diary:( So bakc to Thursday-I worked 8:30-5, which wasnt that bad. Drove home, and waited and waited for people to come over. People started to arrive around 8ish, and i think we were all starving marvin! *just in case you havent figured out who is in the crew yet and who was there it was me,tarah,lindsay,robin,navin,matt,urbas,lisa,and tim*..Alex was working til 10. So we had a big old dinner that was very yummy, and than headed downstairs and wanted to do all this stuff but we HAD to wait for alex. SO we watched Clerks. I took a little nap during it..Alex came over around 10:15, and Urbas and Navin went back to get some stuff at his house. When they came back we all exchanged gifts, and letters. I was gonnna write everyone a letter, but had NO time so i plan on writing them all when i have TIME because like i was telling someone, i dont wanna do a half-assed job, i really want to SIT down and really write how i feel. We all sat there in silence reading the letters. I got a letter from lindsay,robin,matt and urbas...and man-o-man...i know im gonna read over these letters when i go away, and start bawling....Tarah made everyone personallize picture frames with the only picture of EVERYONE in the crew. Lisa also gave picture frames and lindsay made us all cute pillows that say "crew 2002". And of cource we cant forget the CD of all the summer songs that will remind us of each other. After that, we all played this game called "loaded questions" SUCH A GOOD GAME! oh man, fucking funny as hell too:) That was goodtimes. We played for a good 2 hours, and after that we talked, and started settling down. I sat with Matt on the bed and we just started talking about stuff. Someone put in this movie "seven girlfriends" or some shit like that, and people showly went to sleep. I just lyed in bed with Matt talking....talking is good. Tarah turned off the Tv around 3ish, and i think everyone was sleeping but me,matt,robin and alex. Robin and Alex were sleeping on the other side of the room, but that didnt stop us from having a good conversation. Just talking,asking "which us better" and finding out about the opposite sex. Good talk for sure. I think tarah told us to shut up, and i really didnt want to sleep, so again me and matt just quietly talked. It was good, i honestly love being with matt, just having his arms around me, good feeling that i cant describe. I dont know HOW to describe our friendship at all, but ones like these, are RARE to come across, and even thou we had our trobles at the beginning of summer, im GLAD how things are right now, and wouldnt change it for the world. It was cute cause we were playing this game while lying there where we would write something with our fingers on each others arms/shoulders, and we had to guess what it was. It was cute what i had to figure out what matt was writing *and it took me like 15 minutes* but it was "i really will miss you". Made me sad, but happy, cause it was a good summer, and its hard to come across the friendships i did in such a short period of time. I think me and matt fell asleep for about 30 minutes around 5, but we woke up and just lyed there, kissing a few times, and just not wanting the night to end. We didnt end up falling asleep til 8ish. Around 9:30 urbas franticly got up because him and matt were suppost to leave at 8:30 to go to keswick so Urbas could get a tatoo. They left in record time, and we all went back to sleep til around 12ish. Then everyone slowly left. It was a good night, very good, and it was a sort of closure to the summer, but hopefully not the last time we all have a great night like that. Lying there at night, i honestly did not want to leave, or go away....but now it is becoming a reality, and im ready to leave, but at the same time im scaried of what will happen to the "crew" and i hope to god we can always have this great friendship and comfort with each other we share. After everyone left, me and my mom went to the doctors for my results from the blood test and ultrasound. Im happy to say NOTHING is wrong with me. Just my stupid hormones outta-wack *hahaha*. The doctor said if it keeps continuing to be messed up, that they will have to put me on birth control, but right now she doesnt want to have unnessacary hormones in me. Around 4ish, alex,navin,lindsay, and robin showed up at my house, and me and lindsay drove everyone to the scarbough town center to catch the train downtown. We made plans to go to a Toronto Blue Jays game at skydome. We got downtown around 6ish, and headed to this resturant me and tarah had a $50 dollar gift certificate for. To make a long story short, only me,lindsay, and robin were allowed in, and we each got "sex-on-the-beach" and got to take out some appatisers for the rest. *long story, dont ask*. We all chilled outside skydome and ate, than went in for the game. We had really good seats, and it was alot of fun. It was blue jays, and yankees, and i swear to god there was probably more yankee fans. The bluejays lost 9-7, but they made a pretty good come back. The game ended around 10ish and we headed back to p-town. We decided to go hit up this guy Adams party where Urbas and Matt were. I really just wanted to go home and sleep, so we just went to check out urbas's tatoo. We stayed for 5 minutes, than Lindsay,Robin and Alex came back to my house and we watched "orange county". Everyone fell asleep but me and alex, and they left around 1:30. I woke up this morning feeling like SHIT, and i had to work at 8:30am. so i decided to call into work and tell them i wasnt feeling good. Im so glad i did. I slept til 1ish, and than headed out to get my haircut, and go shopping with the mom. We acually bumped into Alex and Robin at Harveys *cant get enough of them!*. I acually started crying on the car drive out, because i was listening to the summer CD and green day "time of your life" came on. I was just thinking about everything, and how really scaried i am to leave home..Its a scary feeling to think im going away, being responisible for MYSELF. ahh. Its a fucking weird feeling. Well i should start packing now..empty out my room and start taking out the clothes and putting them in boxes. Im hoping to be with everyone tonight for one last crew outting of the summer. Robin is leaving tommrow, and honestly its gonna be sad. I think im gonna cry tonight or tommrowa. I can just feel the tears coming right now..... Bye bye
added-I was just checking out robins journal and she has some pictures up from the baseball game last night, and the journey downtown..so GO CHECK EM OUT suxas:) go HERE SUXAS:)
bye bye
 Tawnya
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