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long distances run. @ 2:09 p.m. on 2001-12-11
wow...who is liking all these updates??? me me. mememememe.. neways i have a MAJOR headach right now. well let me tell u all about my DAYY ahhh. well i ended up going to sleep at 1am. i talked to karen last nite....and i was in a REALLLy weird weird mood...i mean ive been thinkign ALOT about summin lately *as i said in my last entry*....so i was explaining how i feel right now to karen. it was good...i mean its good to just have someone listen...i know im not THAT crazzze..but yes....right now my WHOLE life seems like on BIG DREAM that never happened...weird. ive been using the word "weird" alot lately........i was looking at the converstaion with karen and i MUST have used it over 100 times..HAHHAHA ok that is a little farfeacthed... neways i woke up this morning and i had a TERRIBLE stomach ach...it was bad..my mom came into my room to wake me up..and i told her my stomach was hurting and i think i might throw up..so i tryed to breath and i got up..i was doing fine til i got into the bathroom..BOOM i threw up..but i wasnt throwing up nething *all i had last nite was coffee*....so ya..i felt REALLY weak and it WASNT GOOD AT ALL.so my mom told me i should just go to second period *i had a seminar to do in that class*. so i did..i signed out after my presentation and went to the libary..im feeling better now..i just feel blahy. i have to work on my english ISU today cause its due tommrowa..u guys DONT UNDERSTAND how much i want all this work to be DONE. me and lindsay gemin were talking last now how fucking stress this year has been. i mean i really consider myself a very stable person..i mean people tell me im always happy and im NEVER really that hard on myself...but THIS YEAs.fuck... i mean i know this might sound BAD but i can understand how people could just be pushed to the edge....people are expecting SOO MUCH outta u..expecially this year.....and its too much for a person to handel. i kept thinking to myself last nite that i was gonna breakdown ANY MINUTE..i was...just thinking about WHY do i stress over soo many things, when really they DONT MEAN NETHING...i could go forther and say "u only live to die"..but i dont think that.. i mean we are put on this earth to experiment and live our lives to the fullest..and my goal in life is really to have a family that i love *i do already*....have amasing friends.....and travel around the world... and i guess school is just one step to achieve one of the goals...i mean WITHOUT a good job i ENJOY i wont be able to travel..which is all i really want to do in life..... my mom always saysthat nothing comes easy. i always compare life to crosscountry. i used to be amasing at crosscountry in elementary school. if ANY OF U have EVER ran 20 km *i dont know how much it is exactly* but u have to endure the pain..and as u practice and pratice more.it gets easier with time..i remember back in gr 8..i ran against all of schools in like the GTA *which was over 300 people*....i came in 5th.and it was sooo unbelieveable hard, but in the end it was SOOOOO worth it...so i guess in the end of life when i look back, the pain im enduring now will be WORTH it *i hope*. sorry im rambling again..i mean writing this entries come soo naturally to me..i just DONT UNDERSTAND why a english essay cant do the same:( bahhhh.ok...im going to have a shower and then START this crazze essay..if neone has read the bell jar or girl interrupted HELP ME:)
 Tawnya
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