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time can only tell @ 10:16 p.m. on 2001-12-12
eh might as well. lets just say last nite was NOT A pretty site.i really dont want to get into it...but ya. i was SERIOUSLY considering dropping out of school. the only thing holding me back was myself and my parents. i mean i want to make my parents proud. i think any kid does, no matter if u have a close relationship with them or not. just to hear the words "this is great. we are so proud of u" is the best thing to hear from ur parents. i came home today with my calculus mark. and even thought i KNOW i can do better and my parents of COURCE want the best. with a 72 percent i was pretty happy. And when ur parents tell you that is is great, and that ive been working harded than ever, it really brightings up ur day *well mine neways*. so ANYWAYS last nite i had to write an english essay, and the fact that i got that other essay back last week pretty much stating on it that i cant write and i SHOULDNT be in OAC really hurt. there is only SO much an 18 year old female can take. i starting writing the essay last nite and was feeling STUPID. i felt that no matter what i did, i was stupid.. i started crying. my mom asked what was wrong. i told her "I CANT WRITE" over and over again. i had a breakdown. it was scary..i ran up to her room and starting blawling..and shaking. i felt like a different person. it took a good hour for my to calm down. my mom stayed and helped me til midnite. i think she was scaried to leave me alone. BUT i got my essay done, and im 100 percent better today. this year has been soo overwelming it ISNT EVEN funny. me and devyn were talking today how u just ask ANY OAC and they will tell u how tired,overworked they are..and HOW MUCH WE NEED A FUCKING BREAK. NEWAYS today was MUCH better. we had a drunk driving thing this morning. it was a different approach to the one we saw last year. a police man did the talking, and some of the stories really hurt. expecially when the guy was talking about havin to go to the parents and tell that there child was killed. i kept thinking in my mind how i would NEVER EVER EVER EVER ever want my parents to go through that...ever. i went to wendys for lunch with karen, army and doug...and i came home and just RELAXED after school. it was a great feeling NOT to have hw... me and lindsay had our DATE tonite:) hehehe i got to her hosue around 7:30 and she was freaking out cause RYAN is back from tennesse..if u care to know that situation go to lindsays journal:) hehehe neways we went to the mall *for a search* and got sum yummy ice cream. we talked to robin and she told us stories of men trying to pick her up:) hahaha...yes well we didnt find ryan newhere *sorry lindsay*...HOWEVER we did see this MEGA hotty;) hahahaha as i told lindsay..hemade my day:) i need a fix of hottness every here and there:) *laughs*. we went back to lindsay house and watched sum dawsons creek..WOOO SCARY;) hehehe. yup..so now im sitting here..thinking about summin.....that has been on my mind latelY:) IT IS realllllly cool..yet i dont know WHAT to think of it......or maybe im just over reacting..OH WELL..u will all find out sooner or later of what im talking about *or u MIGHT already know*..but yes.....time can only tell:) goodnite.
 Tawnya
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