|
no regrets @ 2:03 a.m. on 2001-12-29
i just cant get around to updating these stupid things. WHY does it seem like SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much has been on my mind this xmas break..EVERYTHING..i mean ive gotten to the point where i feel loney sometimes..and i was thinking one nite about andrew...and then i thought the next day as if im USING him for attention....bah..and the thing is he might have a g/f right now and THAT UPSETS ME....and just him telling me after i send some little pictures i took on the webcam. 
"your a cutie"...AHHHH its the ATTENTION I TELL U...i fED OFF this attention..someone eles has been on my mind whom NOONE knows.....not EVEN u guys:P and i have a goal that i will do before this damn break is over....because really i FEEL as if im afraid to talk to him.. but not really afraid, more afraid of what he thinks of me...and what he WANTS of me....and thats what scares me about guys..i mean do they REALLYU like me, or do they just want my body and only care about a quick thing and then done.and this situation is TOTALLY different....i dont think neone can really understand, or want to for that matter. the last 3 days ive encountered soooo many hot guys...and i have felt "pretty".....for instance i was at HMV yesterday with my mom..i was standing there and this HOTTTTT guy walked about 2 inches away from me and his face was SOOO close to me and just he just stared at me when he walked by..he said something BUT I DONT REMEMBER..i thought to myself, wow...i looked for my mom and she was standing behind him....i KNOW my face turned reed or summin...so i said "oh there u are" to my mom as i walked by him and this other guy who he had just bumped into..as i walked by he asked the guy "hey u know her?" pointing to me..the guy said "what?" "are u with her?!" he asked.... i walked outta the store and told my mom what had happen..i MEAN NOTHING big...and i thoiught for a second to go back there and just DO SOMETHING...i dont WANNNAA regret ANYTHING anymore..so on the car ride home i told myself i dont wanna EVER miss out on a chance....or regret ANYTHING..the ONLYY things i regret in life is NOT DOING SOMETHING. i regret not making out with jeff at dougs party. i regret not saying something to a guy who said "hey" to me walking down the street. i regret not being a good person when i was with matt. so MANy things.....but so little space...just little things too. i mean HEY really WHAT do i have to lose in life..HEY maybe ill go up to a sexy guy and say hi, and maybe he will laugh in my face..but really i cant say "what if".....i didnt LOSE anything *well maybe a little self confidece*..but hey...the things i put in my mind are the POSSIVE things people say about me....and i guess that what makes me a possive person to myself... i have so much to write..and im tired and i KNOW im rambing....the last few days have been FUN:)
 Tawnya
|
