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How do you feel? @ 9:54 p.m. on 2002-06-18
ahhhh i dont know what to think! Or maybe im just OVER THINKING when REALLY there is nothing to worry about! So ya, ive been talking to Matt alot lately on ICQ. Its great to talk to him, cause we totally just joke around, and he keeps bringin up how we are going to make-out on saturday *haha*..Neways, today we talked for a good 2+hours. I have no exam tommrowa, and i was saying how bored i was..so he said that after he had done some studying we would hang out. Of cource tawnya got ALL excited;) Not only was i going out to do something *hey i have this night off* But going out with this really hot, cool guy! So we arranged for him to call me when he was ready. He came and picked me up around 8ish. We literally drove AROUND, and IN AND OUT of pickering, before we FINALLY decided to go to the beach down liverpool road. It was REALLy alot of fun...and we just joked around, threw rocks, talked, and just chilling. Its weird, cause im REALLY starting to like him....Ok so everything is great right? However im not 100 PERCENT what he thinks of me. Im afraid that he just wants to "make-out" with me. We got talking on the drive home about relationships, and he said he has had many of girlfriends, but NOTHING lasts, because he RUSHES into them TOO easily. He told me he like asks the girl out after like the 2nd time of seeing them. WOW that is pretty fast. I told him how im the opposite and how i normally just "see " people for a while, to GET to know them. Why when i want to change my ways, and acually start a relationship SOONER, do i find a guy that wants to "see" people before jumping into a relationship. He asked me how many times ive just "fooled around" with a guy, just one time at a party. We have about the same amount, and we were talking about what the difference between just a ONE TIME thing, and acuallly STARTING a relationship. The thing is, i just dont know WHAT HE WANTS. Ive just had TOO many guys just "use" me, and not really like me for me. What if he is one of those guys too. If he was, than he wouldnt be trying to get to know me right?! Im just afraid that he hung out with me tonight, and reliesed "MAN this chick is a weirdo..."... I guess i always am worried about what people think about me "personality" wise. I guess i shouldnt think about this. Im just over thinking things, and making up a guess of what he thinks about me, when really i COULD be totally wrong. Its just weird, cause im REALLy starting to like him, and feel comfortable with him...and i normally dont feel "this" way!
 Tawnya
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