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Look to the summer. @ 1:57 p.m. on 2002-06-11
Man, it is HOT outside today. I walked outside the school after last period, and i couldnt breath. So muggie, and HOT! i think they said it was 32C outside, man, thank god for my air conditioner, and my shorts and tank top:) I havent done anything for the past 2 days, but sit in my room and watch "The Sopranos" Yes i do lead an EXCITING life;) I go to school, pick up some fast food to munch on, then lye in my room for a few hours, watching that show. My mom is bugging me NON-STOP to finish an assingment i have due on friday, and the more she bugs me, the less likely i want to do it. BAHHH. Ive had a few things on my mind lately. Mostly thinking about this summer, and what i want. I mean i do feel lonely *guy wise*. Lets see, my last boyfriend-Matt-TWO YEARS AGO. Yes ive dealt with that, and ive have had many opporunities to go out with people *ie-Darryl,Mike,Adrain,Andrew,Adam*..some i am GLAD i never went out with, and a few i regret. But i wont get started on that. Alot of people tell me that i have to STOP waiting for that "perfect" person to come along. They say that i should just go and try a relationship with someone i like, and not build up this HUGE wall i do build up. OK, so i learnt my lesson....im gonna stop waiting for that perfect guy that doesnt exist. So i found a guy. Ok so CHECK-i am PHYSICALLY attracted to him. CHECK-he doesnt seem like a guy that just wants to have fool around with me once at a party and never talk to me again. CHECK-he acually talks to me, and doesnt seem to be REPLUSED by me. CHECK-He has a good sense of humour, and can joke around *which i love*..and i KNOW he isnt perfect....so i find this guy, that i would totally not back out of going out with *like i did with pervious guys*...and i just get completely nervous around him, and all girlish, to the point were i chicken out when asking him a SIMPLE question...and so i accept..summer is almost here. im accepting the point that i will be working 5 times a week. I am accepting i will be GONE from pickering to live 2 hours away in St. Catharines in September...should i even try for ANYTHING right now... This is what ive been thinking about. A girl has her "needs"...i just want to be cuddled again..i just want to KISS someone again...is that too much to ask for. Last guy that gave me that was Adam, and that was back in Feburary. I dont know if i want this summer to be like last summer. The summer were i just fool around with a guy one night, and go living it up to the next guy. I guess i cant "make" the summer anything. Whatever is going to happen will happen. Then again i DO have the power to make the summer, how I WANT it..and right now..there is only one way i want it.....................
 Tawnya
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